Papaver setigerum
by Vampiric Charms
Summary: It's been said that those who live in the past limit their future.  Selene/Michael, set after Evolution.  Complete.


_Set somewhat soon after the end of Evolution, I'd say. I do adore Selene and Michael, so I will take any excuse to write something for them. It seems the new movie has revived my muse._

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><p><em><strong>Papaver setigerum<strong>_

"You're thinking about her, aren't you?" Selene asked, watching him closely. Michael looked up, startled, and she could tell from the guilty expression on his face that he had been. His dead wife. "It's all right," she whispered before he could say anything. "It's good to remember."

"What do you mean?" He looked ill and in desperate need of comfort. Suddenly he stood and was about to take a step toward her - but he hesitated.

Selene saw, and she furrowed her eyebrows in frustration. He was still so wary around her, even when he was wanting so badly to be close to her. To be close to _anyone_. Not that she blamed him, really, for being wary. She had become so incapable of expressing herself in any way but anger and violence, after having shut her emotions off long ago, and she knew that he had no idea what to make of her. She wished she could tell him not to worry, or that she truly did care for him, but she did not have to words to do so. Instead, she met his worried gaze and said, "Hold on to all that you can, Michael, before you forget."

"Forget?" His face fell as the truth in what she had said invaded his thoughts. Immortality had a very dear cost for some.

"What do you remember about her?" Selene asked quietly.

Michael swallowed and turned his attention away from her and to a wide crack in the wall. "The first time I met her," he admitted almost bashfully. "It was raining, and she was helping a lost little girl get home." He chuckled and shook his head. "She was new in town, and she stopped me on the street to ask for directions. That's the kind of person she was. Always willing to help even when she wasn't sure how to."

Selene lowered her eyes as she recalled the photographs she had seen. The woman's kind, beaming face flashed through her mind. They had been so happy together. The irony was not lost on her, that Michael had met them both on rainy days under such vastly different circumstances. She briefly considered commenting on it, but stopped herself. Something like that would likely only make this whole situation worse. He still loved her; the adoration in his voice made that clear.

An uncomfortable silence fell over them.

She used to be like Michael's wife - kindhearted and warm - but she cold not actually remember it. She could not even remember what it _felt _like, to have such a loving soul; she just knew that she had not always been so cruel as she was now. But she also knew that her inability to return to that would likely drive Michael away unless she could find a way to open to him the way he needed her to, to take down all of the walls she had built to keep others out.

The silence grew awkward then. Michael cleared his throat, so obviously uncomfortable that Selene almost pitied him.

"She sounds like a nice woman, your wife," she said sincerely in an attempt to soothe him from across the room. There was so much more she could - _should _- say, so many things that he was desperate to hear. But centuries of silence stayed her tongue.

Michael nodded slowly. "She was." He fixed his eyes on her then, trying so hard to read her face. "What do _you_ remember? From before you were...turned?"

The question surprised her, and Selene was very tempted not to answer. It would be so easy to turn away and end the conversation, but that would only do more harm than good. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Perhaps a bit of honesty would help him.

"Not much," she finally whispered. "And those things I do remember I would rather forget." _My family's murder at the hands of a man I trusted. _The words were unsaid, but their weight was heavy in the air between them.

"It has been over six hundred years, Michael," she explained quietly. "I can no longer recall the sound of my mother's voice, or my father's smile. I cannot even remember my own sister's name, or those of her daughters." She paused at the overwhelming sadness that had spread over his expressive face, wondering how much further she should go. She had rarely spoken to anyone about her life before; she had never seen the point.

"Were you married?" he rushed to ask, and she could tell that he taken her hesitation as a sign that she would not continue.

"No, but something had been arranged for that spring." She blinked suddenly, taken aback at what she had just said. She had forgotten. A young man's face came to mind - a man she had not thought about in so long that she almost did not know who he was. "A neighbor," she whispered, more to herself than to Michael. "His name...escapes me."

Michael leaned back against the wall, and she saw a brief flash of jealousy in his eyes. But it was gone quickly and Selene looked away from him. She had thought he was going to press her about this mysterious man, but instead he asked, "Did you live here? In this country?"

"I do not remember." It came out a bit more harshly than she had intended, but she was beginning to grow impatient with his probing questions. It hurt more than she thought it would, realizing yet again how much she had lost and would never be able to regain.

"Sorry," Michael mumbled, shuffling his feet. "I guess I just want to know you a bit better."

Selene sighed and bowed her head. She was so bad at this - at connecting with people. "I am not that woman anymore, Michael. By knowing her you will not know me." It wasn't what he wanted to hear, but it was the truth.

"Will I forget, too?" he asked suddenly, rubbing his upper arm as though keeping back a chill he could no longer feel.

The fear practically radiated from him and Selene pursed her lips as the emotion toyed with her senses. He was still so human, despite all of the changes that had been forced on him. Or perhaps _because _of them. He was afraid of losing himself the way she had, afraid of becoming a monster.

"I don't know," she told him bluntly, crossing her arms over her chest. He wanted to go to her, to be close to her, and she tried to soften her hard expression. She may not be able to make that move herself, but maybe he'd work up the courage if she just relaxed. "You should understand, though, that I put everything behind me that night. I did not _want _to remember - and that makes us different. Hold on to everything that you can. I do not regret not doing so myself, but -" she stopped, feeling the incredible emotion of what she wanted to say but not knowing if she could actually give it all the words.

"But what?"

Michael took another step forward and, seeing a wall come down from around her, another, until he was standing just in front of her. Selene kept her eyes glued to his concerned face, her heart beginning to thud in her chest. This man... Only a handful of days together and she had already told him more than she had anyone else. He reached out and cupped her cheek, and the contact nearly made her recoil even as she realized she had wanted it as much as he had.

"Selene, but what?"

_But now I have nothing,_ she wanted to cry. _I have known only lies and deceit, and now I have __nothing__. Not even memories to chase away the nightmares I will have forever. _

She opened her mouth, but she just couldn't say it. So instead she shook her head and started to turn away from him, unable to bear his scrutiny any longer. Michael reacted quickly this time, reaching out and gently taking hold of her wrist before she could put any space between them.

"You're right," he whispered, and the apprehension in his voice made her stomach twist. "I'm sorry."

Selene covered his hand with hers, removing it from her wrist but not letting go. "There is no need to apologize, Michael. You have done nothing wrong."

"Please don't run away," he begged softly, turning his hand over so that he could squeeze her fingers. "I need you."

She sighed, her shoulders dropping as an unnameable weight seemed to fall over them. "I know." _I need you, too. I can try harder. I will never leave you. I could love you. _But still the words would not come. Maybe one day they would, and maybe he would be able to wait for them. And in the meantime...

Doing what she could to bring down one more wall, she tugged his hand to bring him a step closer and leaned forward to press her lips to his.

It was a start.


End file.
